Log in

Die, Alright!'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Die, Alright!

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Oooh, but I am not scaly-white yet! [14 Jul 2004|12:17am]

[ mood | indifferent ]

Assimilated, my butt. I wasn't going to touch this thing, but seeing as this has been declared an "abandoned journal," I think I shall after all. Lord knows I have reason.
Why on earth is it that women have this confusion between happiness and a really huge, artificial set of knockers? I mean, honestly, if breast size were to guarantee success in all endeavors and harmony with all around you, world leaders would, in a bizarre and grotesque way, resemble centerfolds. Old, liver-spotted, bearded centerfolds, but nobody would care because their scientific-miracle selves would have brought us world peace. Other fabulous things too, I'd imagine, but I can't think of what, because that BIG GAPING LOGIC HOLE keeps humming and breaking my concentration. To tone down the hyperbole a little bit and sail into the realm of common misconceptions (which is, in a way, sadder than the above), why is it that women blame their lack of success in dating, society, and sometimes the workplace on their breast size? Granting exceptions for true pigs, whose opinions shouldn't count for much anyway, no one gives a damn. If you are flat as a board, but also completely incompetent at your job, you will not be promoted. The onus here is not on your body, but your brains. If you are modestly endowed, but a complete shrew, men will not date you for long. Not because you're not collapsing under the weight of your own breasts, but because people do not, as a rule, like people who are mean. If you're completely stacked, but a wretched person, other women do not hate you for your genes. They hate you because you connive and betray their trust. Not rocket science. However, I won't spare for a minute the women who do save their venom for those packing more in their blouses. You may hate to hear it, but that doesn't make life any easier. Men don't like you more, and (again, note the "total pig" clause) it doesn't make work and socializing effortless. If anything, it impedes it because you get catty bitches coming down on you for your genes. That's terribly unfair, because unless they look like an alien from repeated plastic surgeries, they did not choose their genes. Sure, they can choose to work out if they want to be fit, dress a certain way because they prefer it, or wear makeup because they think it's stylish. Much beyond that, though, and you're looking at Ma Nature herself. Ease up and use those brains you claim to have (you know, the brains you've got and those dumb bimbos lack). Kick back, relax, and let the bile go. You'd be amazed at how much smoother things run.

post comment

raaaarhissstgrowl [15 Oct 2003|10:44pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

men who buy small dogs to pick up women should be mercilessly flogged with things. true, the dog's possession of more intelligence, attractiveness, and general felicity of being make possible a budding conversation that the poor schmuck couldn't get on his own, but on principle? animal abuse. most of these wanks don't even play with the dog unless it's in a public setting, so they go all neurotic. some overfeed the puppies to make them adorably plump and prone to heart problems. and they mess with the thing's head by training it to do things like jump on people, which are guaranteed negative reactions; they expect a reward and get scolded and all sorts of things short out. and they don't socialize the wee little dirt factories, which means they bite things (or people), chew madly (on themselves, sometimes), scratch fur out, or widdle everywhere because something's gone a bit wrong in their heads. and for what? a slim chance at actually speaking to a woman who, if blessed with good sense, wouldn't give them the time of day because they're the sort of creep who does this kind of thing? feh; spend that money and effort on acting like a human being instead of expecting a dog to do it for you.
yes, can you tell what i did today? i had puppy prints on my jeans and murder thoughts in my head. though i trained it not to jump and irritated the ape jogging in its wake. dog smarter than master, no contest. *spithiss*

1 comment|post comment

bad times [02 Oct 2003|12:21am]

[ mood | scared ]

well Monday seemed to take forever to get through the day bye the time i got out of school i was really tired and dead
Tuesday started off slow until lunch when my whole school went into complete uproar i was going to go out to lunch with a bunch of people at my school i decided that i wanted to stay and finch painting one of my pots we were going to take three cars but bye the time lunch came around they were down to two car i side good bye to them and told josh that i would go out to lunch with him next time so walked to buy something from 7-11 and went back to school i had not even gotten to my pot yet when the office got a call saying there has been a big car accident on 36 with a bunch of kids from the school the call came from kids who were in the car behind josh's car the car had been hit bye another car and flipped 4 times bye the time school was over four out of the five people were injured badly today all but two are home the tow left in the hospital are in the ICU hunter is touch and go and Marissa is supposed to go through the last of her surgeries tonight hunter still needs two more surgeries but they want him to be more stable before they take in for them the kids who went home one has major concussion and had her face split open from temple to temple another josh has a broken leg and several lager cuts and lots of broses and Hanna was basically unhurt just a couple small cuts i am worried about josh he went in to sock after it happened and they could not get him to stop convulsing till about three am last night and they let him go home but they have him sedated and he's not allowed to get out of bed for the next week or so i found my self wishing it was Monday and that none of this had happened even though Monday took forever or that we had told josh that we should just stay in boulder i have made cards for all the people in the cars that i am going to have the whole school sine which should not be to hard i made sure to leave room for everyone

1 comment|post comment

why are you carly simon's evil twin? [22 Mar 2003|04:30pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

bored for a few days, stranded at home, so what can i do but turn to the faithful internet to keep me from gnawing off my limbs in a doomed effort to escape? which brought me to deviantart. which in turn brought to you this rant.
the internet is not a "global village," it is not there to keep people connected, it does not exist to make business more efficient. no, kids, it is there so hundreds of self-absorbed teenagers can use it as a looking glass. and wow does that piss me off. i'm not talking about the people who go "look, here is a photo from my vacation with me in it, now will you please disregard me and go 'oooo' at the scenery behind me like i was doing at the time." or just "look, i was in a place other than home and here's the evidence, fooz." that's more show and tell than gratuitous vanity. or the people who have a picture on their id, since, you know, a lot of id's have pictures on them so it makes sense. it's the people who post pictures of themselves time and again, in every possible space, and give them irritating captions like "it's difficult being so cute," or "this guy on the football team said i was cute what do u think?" okay kids, come on, out with the truth- you want people to fall all over themselves saying how hot you are, blah, blah, blah. this goes for [half of frikkin' deviantart] the goths too..."i'm too sexy for the rain/the velvet/the fake blood capsule/the fishnet showing off as much skin as the preppy clothes i laugh at." come on, people, do you really need to be wasting bandwidth just to prove that you're a conceited jackass? for the love of god, go worship yourself somewhere else.
/end rant. brain-slurpee, signing off.

post comment

[09 Feb 2003|11:06am]

Today We saw Lino Gonzales at King Stoopers. He made conversation with us because uh, IVe been in his office like 2 times. He then asked me Whats your name again? And I told him my name and he tried to get to know me. I then started to bag our groceries so we could get out. My mom bitched at me about being rude and how school staff try so hard to be good people.

Teachers...Principals...Office Type people do try hard. For like the first 2 years. Then they relize that no matter how nice they are kids are still going to fuck up and ditch class and not turn in papers. So they think "Why even bother?" And thus They become "bad people" well not really bad people they are sponges. They soak up the anger and slackness and such and pour it onto who they hate.
1 comment|post comment

rarr i got the art classes that i wanted [17 Jan 2003|12:07am]

[ mood | hopeful ]

so i got photo which is my love its my 3rd oafishly year but i have taken it for 3 others ones as independent studies so basically i will be taking my 6 year of photo i love photo kate is not teaching it this time but its always good to get anther persons perceptive on it i have drawing and painting in the morning to and as always i am doing art at lunch 3 days a week i am going to be doing ceramics which should help my chances of getting this scholarship to kansas city art institute which is not really an art institute any more it just kept the name after it became a privet art school its the top school in the world for ceramics and one of the top ones in the country for photo and the scholarship is some my teacher kate got me seined up for and its for people that are sure that they will go there so since its the top school on my list i am good and you have to have a an average of 3.0 to get it i know i am good my average for high school is a 3.9 so she said that i have a really good chance of getting this because i have on my list of people that are recommending me for it is one of there former students oh graduated at the top of her class and a art teacher at ut university and two art therapist one of which got her masters in art there and its full ride all i have to pay for is food and anything i do out side of school i know that its one of the hardiest schools in the country to get in to but if they side i had a shot at this then maybe i have a shot to do it

1 comment|post comment

francophilia is like a paper cut too [11 Dec 2002|08:46pm]

[ mood | asteroide b-612 ]

les pantalons sont les pantalons! ceci n'est pas une personne (c'est de vetements). lisez "les vetements du roi." poule mouille, vraiment.

je ne sais pas. je suis par contrainte vraiment etrange d'ecrire en francais. si tu ne le parles pas, tant pis. les francophiles, ils sont tres facheux. et leurs chiens disent "ouaf," et pas "woof."

2 comments|post comment

argh argh argh let me pry this away now [20 Nov 2002|06:42pm]

[ mood | pissy and germy ]

Edit: there is no point to what used to be here due to my having posed the question it posed and gotten an answer and that being concluded now. Earlier editing would have been prudent. I am very stupid. At any rate, the question is defunct and deletion seemed a little defeatist. Feel free to inform me that I am incompetent whenever you wish. ^^;

5 comments|post comment

everyone's a critic [14 Nov 2002|08:33am]

[ mood | geeky ]

oh, christ. i don't need to go into this one, save for wanting to have some god-given right to pass my opinion off as the only one that's true, like a fucking oracle. like megan speaking for the whole of the staff on the quality of a piece. hubris. a priest i once met was a college freshman when i met him; his older sister had graduated before he even began, and he sat there and told her how everything was. nice kid, talked to cows, but arrogant as all get-out. she (his sister) made a good point- that you might have a grasp on the small, petty little bubble you go about in, but that bubble isn't the world. jebus christ, it may indeed have looked a little funny and i do think it did, but what's shit shit about one way being the absolute truth? that's a little narrow-minded and presumptuous. i for one have my own opinion and don't want another's and you'd be surprised at how difficult it is to shove it down my throat. okay, maybe not surprised, given events of the past, but...sic vita. still, the day i take cues from other people on what to think/do/be (and i am sounding like ralph ellison right now, just so eeeeveryone can know) is the day i a) die, or b) hide out in a basement wired with 1,361 lightbulbs and a record player due to terminal invisibility. damn you ellison! damn you! /end rant.

post comment

single-serving everything, thank you Tyler Durden [12 Nov 2002|08:51am]

[ mood | apathetic ]

And now we bring you a brief break from total apathy for some mild irritation...

I am not a mercenary. For me to be dragged into some stupid ridiculous petty catfight, I demand pay. You want a hired soldier, hire them, dammit. And even then, I most likely won't take pay when you stop the human-shield act and it all goes back to normal, as predicted and as indicated by my reluctance to be sucked in. This is fucking ridiculous, that I'm expected to take crap that I didn't start and then recede back into the shadows when it's all over. I would never work as a bodyguard because I think people should just pay their own dues and quit being chickenshit about it. The next time you need someone to fight for you, consider me out. O-U-T. Let's keep it clear this time, since it wasn't quite so until I brought out a sledgehammer and pounded into a skull or two.

And presto! Apathy returns! And obliviousness too; give me some headphones and a shiny thing to stare at and I am dead to the world. Final point- any point on this is not intended for those who would seem the most frequent target. Hopefully this has been easy to follow; if not I shall take the shit as it cometh.

3 comments|post comment

redundancy [11 Nov 2002|01:16pm]

[ mood | lethargic ]

a) time is relative.

b) you can't use a sundial when it's always cloudy.

c) my computer is evil and is doing this weird page-cachey thing which means i need to hit the refresh button every time i want to see a new page. but only on deviantart and livejournal. kill your computer too.

post comment

using or clean which is better [07 Nov 2002|10:58pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

i guess that you would have to know me well to know why i hate being me i am a stupid junkie who got clean and has stayed clean but thats the funny thing when i was in treatment people always told me that life would be so much better when i got clean but it still sucks and i wish that people would have not lied i think that i would be using if they had but hey what the hell its going to suck ether way i really want to use and that kinda sucks right now since no one would really stop me oh well i will stay clean its the only thing i have going for me right now i know that i will never be happy i think thats my punishment for ever using in the first place

post comment

how's this...i won't use names...but that doesn't mean that i won't talk about the stuff i wanna... [01 Nov 2002|08:44pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

Well, i left the sac for stuff to cool down, but now it seems that having left has escalated this entire thing. Well, as i said...damned if i do...damned if i don't...and no...leaving to give people time to calm down was not just me running away...it was me trying to give people a chance to think before speaking...cause we all saw what happened last time i didn't really think before posting...

...oh...aviv...if you are actually going to read this...which you probably aren't...i don't really know if your compromise will actually work with how stuff is going...what i've been posting pretty much has to do with the same thing...and well...it does involve certain people...but if it'll make everyone feel better...i'll do what i normally do...and not include names...if she doesn't...but personally i don't think that this is going to work in the slightest...

...well...yeah...condemned and all by people who only heard one side of the story...kinda screwed over socially...a lot of my friends are mad...and i thin kthat i've pretty much lost my faith in people...or just my trust in anyone...if it'll make some people happy...i don't know if i'll really be able to tell anyone what i'm feeling anymore...but i'll try not to be "naughty"...kinda a little inside joke thing...i'm sure that a couple of you might know what that meant...well...yeah...i guess the idea of puting space between people when they're fighting has been universally rebuked as i've been severely criticized for doing this...i just can't do anything right...well...yeah...damned if i do...damned if i don't...might as well do what my mom suggested...switch schools...i might be better off...start over...ignore the crap...and just concentrating on getting the fuck out of this damned state...(if you couldn't tell...i dont' really like colorado...)...it's cold here...and people are sometimes nice...jsut not a lot...your friends turn on you without giving you a chance to explain...and then when you try...everyone throws it back in your face...grrr...well...like i said...i'm really not using names...that should make people happy...well...at least a selected few...

...why do people completely choose sides in a "fight" (between friends) with only half of the information and no fucking clue where the first person was coming from...?...i don't get people...and i don't think i ever will...and oh...i'm not going to name certain people...as the thinghy says...but i don't idolize erin...she's a good friend...and she understands...and she is willing to listen to what you're actually saying if it's got a purpose...thanx for that by the way...being able to talk to someone who actually listens has helped a lot...

...i don't think that anything will ever work out with all that's going on...but if a certain person is willing to...i would sit and talk...but...only if civility is kept...cause i know you...and i know that you might say that it'll stay civil...but last time you did...you were yelling in less than 10 minutes...and that's not very civil...oh...and saying really harsh things too...oh...it's not just me that does it...

...the question for the day...this has kidna been said by many i think...especially my friends and i...but...what would you prefer?...a shotgun to the head...or to slowly die by eating rat poison for the rest of your to be shortened life?...either way you die...so why should it really matter?...it's the same with emotionally hurting people...whether you do it really, really slowly...or...you do it all at once...should it really matter that much?...the outcome is the exact same...oh...and remember...you've used the shotgun before...

...to all those who've been through shit like this...i'm sorry...and i know what you're feeling...as a person who has blown up at someone in a fairly unjustified manner...i'm sorry for all of you that have had that done to you...one person specifically that's not involved in this blow up...it must've been hard and sucked...and i know that you were miserable...but yeah...i know kinda how you feel...i'm not saying that i'm the only one who was wronged...but in my expression of having been wronged...i hurt someone...and i know that i already tried to say sorry and such...and i was kinda blown off and criticized for trying to make ammends...but yeah...i hope that you are finally doing better than you were when all fo this happened to you...best of luck to you...even though you're probably not going to read this...but yeah...hope that finally you've found a long lost happiness...(i have nothing saying that i can't say this person's name...so dont' assume it's you...i have tried to apologize...kidna...or at least say i was wrong and that i'm was sorry about some things...but yeah...assumptions are the worst thing that you could do...that anyone could do...and yes...i ADMIT that i've assumed things recently...but i'm not the only one...so don't yell about hypocracy...to much...cause i know i'm a hypocrite...but at least I know that...and i can admit it...)

...well...yeah...i'm probably going to be yelled at again for writing something in my journal...but i'm not sure hwo it's going to be from this time...it oculd be from any number of people...and the numbers keep gettin bigger...hope you're happy...i'm not...

5 comments|post comment

gerrr [01 Nov 2002|05:29pm]

[ mood | bored ]

why is it that everyone puts on this front of being some one there not i never have and don't think there is a reason i wish that people would just be who they are and never be who someone else wants them to be well i mean who they think everyone else wants them to be i only know 8 other people who do this there names are as follows charles evan jake james charly erin the mother of the first 4 no one really knows her name and pam those are the only other people i know that do this and only one person off that list lives in this sate so that tells you some thing about how few people do this so please just be your self i will have more respect for you if you do that and i hope that you will have more respect for your self if you do so just do it

1 comment|post comment

chameleons! [31 Oct 2002|10:15pm]

[ mood | scared ]

"don't put me up on a pedestal, because it's too far from the ground and i'll probably use the height to throw nast things down at you." that would be me. and i'll say it again- a personality isn't like a pair of shoes, or shouldn't be. cultivate it for yourself, base it on your personal experiences, judge by your own actions, and for the love of toast do not lift it from someone else like a cheap piece of candy from the grocery store. one of each person is enough; why do you think there was only one to begin with? the word "unique" should have some meaning. do things as you would do them, not as michael jordan or lucy liu or the guy next door would do them. be your own person. or else (the violent side of me says). this has driven me to quote even the bible- thou shalt not worship false idols. not that it's worship (maybe i'm just hoping on that last one), but it's way too close for comfort and man am i getting freaked out! so people need role models, confidantes, guidance, a listener, i'll go with that. it's when it starts overstepping a healthy relationship and becoming parasitism that i want to bow out. basically, personal space is your friend. frieeeend. this is scattered as all hell, but it's really getting irritating and better here than physical removal from the room.

1 comment|post comment

hanged, drawn & quartered [31 Oct 2002|10:51am]

[ mood | cold ]

and i reiterate, trying yet again to walk the line of relative impartiality after failing to do it satisfactorily the first time, that here we must have a monster with many hands.
on one of them, it was judging by the bio episode, the eventual explosion of many things. the proverbial straw, i guess. basing it on what little i caught when awake in chem last year, things happened, and more things happened, and they kept happening. and the things were not good, and perhaps downright hurtful. whether or not they were intended/percieved as so, we're playing with other people's perceptions now, so intent is kind of a moot point.
on another hand (more than just two here) it's a matter of scale. the geneva convention, the part about weapon size when retaliating, would be the most applicable example here. do you drop an atom bomb on someone who's been lobbing grenades? nooooo. and the war metaphors go on to...
yet another hand! people have no trouble killing people whose faces they don't see. also, killing when it is "morally right" is perfectly acceptable. even when those morals are not followed by demographic x or minority z. basically, people make it easier for them to get away with they want while still imposing restrictions on others. admitting to hypocrisy is one thing, but people can still throw it back at you when the pressure is on. as a human being and thus someone who does this, i can neither condone nor condemn it and conclude that it is unfortunate and unavoidable and the cause of way too much shit like this.
the next hand is most likely holding a sword, since there are two sides to this and both can hurt people. one said says the "golden rule" they taught you in kndergarten, about treating others the way you'd be treated. so being men begets being mean, and so forth. this is not infallible, since the person you were being mean to could then be mean back by an extension of the same principle. the other side has to do with "if people did that to you, then you's know what it feels like and be more/less inclined to do it." this is also fraught with disaster, since every time this is ever said, the subject goes "but people are, and that's why i am this way," or something equally potentially valid and certainly infuriating to the "wronged" party bringing it up.
next hand: is aggression acceptable only when released slowly and on the sly, or in a big violent burst? condoning either approach makes it okay to hurt people a specific way, which is ridiculous because either way it's a deliberate injury. picture this- a man with a baseball bat and a box of rat poison comes up to you and says "would you rather die slowly or quickly?" well, what kind of an answer would you give to that? it's clear that either way he intends to kill you, so it's not much of a choice and might i add it's not really that good either way. also, would it be okay if the man were a businessman or a family friend as opposed to a stranger or someone who's part of a group you don't like?
the last hand, which is by now itching to strangle someone. why is it that everyone is getting sucked in and forced by hook or by crook to pick a side? not that this hand is going to have much on it, since lighting matches near kerosene is never a bright idea.
the head to which these hands are attached, however remotely, would like to add that, true to that old song, nobody's right if everybody's wrong. also it would like to add that it has marshmallows to toast, and is therefore insensible.

4 comments|post comment

sitting on the fence.... [30 Oct 2002|10:20pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

a) it does look cumulative, and it's one of those awkward things like when in kindergarten the teacher had to tell which kid threw mud first. except, y'know, not resolved by a box of tide and time-outs. also, it's hard not to take a small sadistic amount of gratification in this, if i'm going to get into the childish thing entirely. being landed in this up to my neck because of one class is just....arr.
b) nervous laugh, write about toasters, look askance and laugh nervously again, look like i care about cellular respiration, smile and nod. and that's more or less it. ever see those looney tunes where wile. e. coyote chases the roadrunner off a cliff and doesn't notice when the cliff ends? that's a fair illustration of this part.
c) mired yet again in politics. politics suck. that's more or less that, plus the apparent bonus of required adherence to something or another. bang head on desk....now.

post comment

is it snake/mongoose or mongoose/snake? [29 Oct 2002|09:02pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

it's been an austin powers sort of mood lately. don't ask, since i probably couldn't tell you....
after all the snow and more coming, i can only be assured that school will indeed go on as planned tomorrow. never mind that most of the roads are more or less ice. what kind of idiot chooses to keep school in session with 7-plus inches of snow on the ground and roads like skating rinks? part of my discontent here stems from the fact that my fellow soon-to-be-graduates can barely manage to stop their cars in a spot that's not too greatly inconvenient. i can't in good conscience call what they do "parking." that seems to imply a certain awareness of what they're doing, and a general procedure that is followed until satisfactory results are obtained. this morning, in fact, when the lines were more or less visible, there were more minor fender-benders than usual, and people sliding into their static state of automobile. so of course, we'll add snow and ice and nervous winter driving and the requisite "invincible" truck-driving lunatic to the equation and all will be well. *cough* or not. prepare for the sheet-metal iditarod and thus death. or several hundred dollars of insurance claims.

post comment

[29 Oct 2002|02:31pm]

[ mood | homicidal ]


So, i guess at least someone was waiting for this. Well, here is your wish, I am here. I hope i don't disappoint you, your almighty super-bitchy-british-wanna-be.

Well, hopefully your verbal masturbations have not been swallowed up by everyone! Some people may suck, but you are the master of it all, the only problem is you just regurgitate what ever the fuck you want to right after! Oh, and before you say anything, remember my spelling and content clause, bitch. Well, i think i can earn my name just a little more, and i'm sure you've realized that i hadn't even begun to bitch, before. I also hope you realize that i'm not going to stop because you've given me this wonderful name.

If you're going to bitch about other people saying stuff or having other friends, then take a really fucking good look at how you treat your friends. You are awful to specific people for no fucking good reason. You say mean things about them behind their backs, and you assume that you're the only thing that they could EVER talk about. Here is a fucking news flash for you, you're not the most important thing to practically anyone/anything and no one cares that you've learned to maturbate using words and trying to sound sophisticated and nice. I don't care anymore, think whatever you want about me, but at least now you have a fucking reason to be mad! If you want to be mad at someone now, be mad at me, but DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TAKE IT OUT ON ONE OF MY FRIENDS WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH ANYONE ELSE. oh, wait, you probably wouldn't care. ice bitch. Go and have fun pitying yourself, but don't expect me to even stand up for you to my friends this time, i've had enough of your shit. go and have fun trying to be a martyr!

9 comments|post comment

well this might not make since [27 Oct 2002|02:58pm]

[ mood | frustrated ]

so the song i am listening to it talks about this girl how is so beautiful that she can do anything and then it says that the person singing says in that she is not like that and that she is beautiful like that but that she is beautiful like her and some thing about that just hits home with me because i don't think that most people would call me beautiful but i know that there are some people who think that i am beautiful just in my own way even if i will never think that i am beautiful they will and that means some thing to me its hard to explain but i hope that this make since to some one

post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]