pooky (firestar33) wrote in tohellwithit,
pooky
firestar33
tohellwithit

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how's this...i won't use names...but that doesn't mean that i won't talk about the stuff i wanna...

Well, i left the sac for stuff to cool down, but now it seems that having left has escalated this entire thing. Well, as i said...damned if i do...damned if i don't...and no...leaving to give people time to calm down was not just me running away...it was me trying to give people a chance to think before speaking...cause we all saw what happened last time i didn't really think before posting...

...oh...aviv...if you are actually going to read this...which you probably aren't...i don't really know if your compromise will actually work with how stuff is going...what i've been posting pretty much has to do with the same thing...and well...it does involve certain people...but if it'll make everyone feel better...i'll do what i normally do...and not include names...if she doesn't...but personally i don't think that this is going to work in the slightest...

...well...yeah...condemned and all by people who only heard one side of the story...kinda screwed over socially...a lot of my friends are mad...and i thin kthat i've pretty much lost my faith in people...or just my trust in anyone...if it'll make some people happy...i don't know if i'll really be able to tell anyone what i'm feeling anymore...but i'll try not to be "naughty"...kinda a little inside joke thing...i'm sure that a couple of you might know what that meant...well...yeah...i guess the idea of puting space between people when they're fighting has been universally rebuked as i've been severely criticized for doing this...i just can't do anything right...well...yeah...damned if i do...damned if i don't...might as well do what my mom suggested...switch schools...i might be better off...start over...ignore the crap...and just concentrating on getting the fuck out of this damned state...(if you couldn't tell...i dont' really like colorado...)...it's cold here...and people are sometimes nice...jsut not a lot...your friends turn on you without giving you a chance to explain...and then when you try...everyone throws it back in your face...grrr...well...like i said...i'm really not using names...that should make people happy...well...at least a selected few...

...why do people completely choose sides in a "fight" (between friends) with only half of the information and no fucking clue where the first person was coming from...?...i don't get people...and i don't think i ever will...and oh...i'm not going to name certain people...as the thinghy says...but i don't idolize erin...she's a good friend...and she understands...and she is willing to listen to what you're actually saying if it's got a purpose...thanx for that by the way...being able to talk to someone who actually listens has helped a lot...

...i don't think that anything will ever work out with all that's going on...but if a certain person is willing to...i would sit and talk...but...only if civility is kept...cause i know you...and i know that you might say that it'll stay civil...but last time you did...you were yelling in less than 10 minutes...and that's not very civil...oh...and saying really harsh things too...oh...it's not just me that does it...

...the question for the day...this has kidna been said by many i think...especially my friends and i...but...what would you prefer?...a shotgun to the head...or to slowly die by eating rat poison for the rest of your to be shortened life?...either way you die...so why should it really matter?...it's the same with emotionally hurting people...whether you do it really, really slowly...or...you do it all at once...should it really matter that much?...the outcome is the exact same...oh...and remember...you've used the shotgun before...

...to all those who've been through shit like this...i'm sorry...and i know what you're feeling...as a person who has blown up at someone in a fairly unjustified manner...i'm sorry for all of you that have had that done to you...one person specifically that's not involved in this blow up...it must've been hard and sucked...and i know that you were miserable...but yeah...i know kinda how you feel...i'm not saying that i'm the only one who was wronged...but in my expression of having been wronged...i hurt someone...and i know that i already tried to say sorry and such...and i was kinda blown off and criticized for trying to make ammends...but yeah...i hope that you are finally doing better than you were when all fo this happened to you...best of luck to you...even though you're probably not going to read this...but yeah...hope that finally you've found a long lost happiness...(i have nothing saying that i can't say this person's name...so dont' assume it's you...i have tried to apologize...kidna...or at least say i was wrong and that i'm was sorry about some things...but yeah...assumptions are the worst thing that you could do...that anyone could do...and yes...i ADMIT that i've assumed things recently...but i'm not the only one...so don't yell about hypocracy...to much...cause i know i'm a hypocrite...but at least I know that...and i can admit it...)

...well...yeah...i'm probably going to be yelled at again for writing something in my journal...but i'm not sure hwo it's going to be from this time...it oculd be from any number of people...and the numbers keep gettin bigger...hope you're happy...i'm not...
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